Definitely a life-changing moment. There are still days when the gap between knowing and doing is bigger than I would like. But at least now I am conscious of it and clear on what I want (and what I'm not willing to give up).
I love this. Thanks for sharing, I remember that moment in my life before I decided I didn't want to waste one more minute of my life just surviving. Now I spend hours finding shells on the beach and cheering my son on at little athletes I have less money but so much more freedom and joy and need so much less to feel content.
That sounds divine, Amanda. It is a different kind of wealth that can't be measured in numbers and dollar signs. Do you remember what the moment of change was for you? If you do, I would love to hear about it if you are open to sharing.
Yes, wealthy in spirit and joy. I do remember I was at another boring meeting for the sake of a meeting. I had been performing so long and got very good at it I previously loved these meetings. I could add someone of value and then feel validated, while underneath I was completely dysregulated. But this motivation through validation has been slowly degrading. In that moment I thought my life is way too valuable to be sitting here. That was when I knew it was the start of the end. 2 months later I quit, sold everything, took our 5 year old out of daycare, used our house deposit savings to travel around Japan and Europe for 3 months with no plans on what we would do when we returned. I needed to get out of the system and show our five year old there was life out of routines. I found my freedom and aliveness over there. I left my 10 year relationship with my son's father while over there and kept travelling together as co-parents because that relationship no longer fit my thriving life. I returned and moved to a small coastal community and have been building community here at the start of the year. The more honest and authentic I became the more I realised I was becoming unemployable and couldn't go back to a 9 to 5 daily grind. So I started building the spaces and communities I always wished I had, learning to love uncomfortableness and live in the unknown, speak my truth and follow the threads that pull me. The more human and messy I allowed myself to be the more peace I felt, and some days shit scared of the future, but even those days I remember what it cost me to hide and perform and no matter what happens my soul is free.
Wow, Amanda, what an inspiring story of your courageous journey! I love what you say about becoming unemployable, I can so relate to that. I'm also following threads that pull me, right now, after closing my counselling practice in February. It is scary sometimes, but it feels much more aligned with who I am and who I'm becoming. Thank you for sharing.
Sounds like we are on a similar path. I have been building a consultancy business that supports social impact organisations to identify congruency gaps and where they drifted from their intentions. Its what my system does naturally, so i thought why not use it help other value-led organisations stay aligned. It came from following threads and doing this for free anyway. Who knows where it leads but like you, it feels so much more aligned and easy than trying to fit in a box of a therapist.
Your business sounds innovative and valuable, and I wish you every success. I agree, being a therapist (which I loved for years, until I didn't love it any more) is a narrow box. One thing I know is that I don't want a job where I hold space for other people's stuff at the expense of my own, any more. I've volunteered to do some hands on conservation work for the Wildlife Trust, where I just turn up and someone tells me what to do! I'm out in nature, doing something useful for the local environment, meeting like-minded people, and have zero responsibility! It's great and, as you say, who knows where it might lead?
I get what you're saying, although in a slightly different context. I've spent all my career building things for other people - businesses, products, etc. Sure, it was interesting, but I never built what was truly aligned with me. That's where I'm headed now.
Thanks, Victoria. Your volunteering sounds amazing!!. Nature never ask you to hold its shit at your expense. It holds space for all of us and all our imperfections. It’s the best therapist you could ever have. I am also volunteering for an Aboriginal women's org on sacred country women’s business country. It had the original birthing pool that Aboriginal women all over Australia would come to give birth to their children for 65,000 years. I feel so held on that land.
I love that Amanda. I spent quite a bit of time working on poverty alleviation strategies across Africa. I worked with a lot of NGOs and saw how many others worked. I have to say, I was disappointed with some of what I saw. So the work you're doing really resonates.
Amanda, thank you for sharing this with me. What a story. I resonate so strongly with starting to have a different experience of the endless corporate meetings. I still have one foot in that world. I appreciate the courage it took to make the leap that you did, especially with a 5-year-old. When I've taken big leaps, they've definitely been scary. But each one is towards a freer version of myself. When you say your soul is free, it makes me feel joy in my heart.
I completely agree, Jody. I've spent years sleep-walking (or rather, sleep-rushing) through my life, telling myself I love being busy. But all this busyness served a purpose - I had no time or space to be with myself and feel my feelings. Now that I've slowed right down (which my Knowing told me I needed to do, long before I listened), I find that spending time with myself is actually just fine! And having time for my loved ones, as well as solitude, is a precious gift. Enjoy your sweet, silly Bella, and the precious time with your parents.
Thank you, Victoria. I have had a similar experience with my knowing. I hear it for a while before I really listen. I'm now more conscious of it, and I pay more attention. I'm so glad you found your way to that space for yourself and your loved ones. It really is a precious gift.
A life changing moment for you--brava! xo
Definitely a life-changing moment. There are still days when the gap between knowing and doing is bigger than I would like. But at least now I am conscious of it and clear on what I want (and what I'm not willing to give up).
I love this. Thanks for sharing, I remember that moment in my life before I decided I didn't want to waste one more minute of my life just surviving. Now I spend hours finding shells on the beach and cheering my son on at little athletes I have less money but so much more freedom and joy and need so much less to feel content.
That sounds divine, Amanda. It is a different kind of wealth that can't be measured in numbers and dollar signs. Do you remember what the moment of change was for you? If you do, I would love to hear about it if you are open to sharing.
Yes, wealthy in spirit and joy. I do remember I was at another boring meeting for the sake of a meeting. I had been performing so long and got very good at it I previously loved these meetings. I could add someone of value and then feel validated, while underneath I was completely dysregulated. But this motivation through validation has been slowly degrading. In that moment I thought my life is way too valuable to be sitting here. That was when I knew it was the start of the end. 2 months later I quit, sold everything, took our 5 year old out of daycare, used our house deposit savings to travel around Japan and Europe for 3 months with no plans on what we would do when we returned. I needed to get out of the system and show our five year old there was life out of routines. I found my freedom and aliveness over there. I left my 10 year relationship with my son's father while over there and kept travelling together as co-parents because that relationship no longer fit my thriving life. I returned and moved to a small coastal community and have been building community here at the start of the year. The more honest and authentic I became the more I realised I was becoming unemployable and couldn't go back to a 9 to 5 daily grind. So I started building the spaces and communities I always wished I had, learning to love uncomfortableness and live in the unknown, speak my truth and follow the threads that pull me. The more human and messy I allowed myself to be the more peace I felt, and some days shit scared of the future, but even those days I remember what it cost me to hide and perform and no matter what happens my soul is free.
Wow, Amanda, what an inspiring story of your courageous journey! I love what you say about becoming unemployable, I can so relate to that. I'm also following threads that pull me, right now, after closing my counselling practice in February. It is scary sometimes, but it feels much more aligned with who I am and who I'm becoming. Thank you for sharing.
Sounds like we are on a similar path. I have been building a consultancy business that supports social impact organisations to identify congruency gaps and where they drifted from their intentions. Its what my system does naturally, so i thought why not use it help other value-led organisations stay aligned. It came from following threads and doing this for free anyway. Who knows where it leads but like you, it feels so much more aligned and easy than trying to fit in a box of a therapist.
Your business sounds innovative and valuable, and I wish you every success. I agree, being a therapist (which I loved for years, until I didn't love it any more) is a narrow box. One thing I know is that I don't want a job where I hold space for other people's stuff at the expense of my own, any more. I've volunteered to do some hands on conservation work for the Wildlife Trust, where I just turn up and someone tells me what to do! I'm out in nature, doing something useful for the local environment, meeting like-minded people, and have zero responsibility! It's great and, as you say, who knows where it might lead?
I get what you're saying, although in a slightly different context. I've spent all my career building things for other people - businesses, products, etc. Sure, it was interesting, but I never built what was truly aligned with me. That's where I'm headed now.
Thanks, Victoria. Your volunteering sounds amazing!!. Nature never ask you to hold its shit at your expense. It holds space for all of us and all our imperfections. It’s the best therapist you could ever have. I am also volunteering for an Aboriginal women's org on sacred country women’s business country. It had the original birthing pool that Aboriginal women all over Australia would come to give birth to their children for 65,000 years. I feel so held on that land.
I love that Amanda. I spent quite a bit of time working on poverty alleviation strategies across Africa. I worked with a lot of NGOs and saw how many others worked. I have to say, I was disappointed with some of what I saw. So the work you're doing really resonates.
Amanda, thank you for sharing this with me. What a story. I resonate so strongly with starting to have a different experience of the endless corporate meetings. I still have one foot in that world. I appreciate the courage it took to make the leap that you did, especially with a 5-year-old. When I've taken big leaps, they've definitely been scary. But each one is towards a freer version of myself. When you say your soul is free, it makes me feel joy in my heart.
I completely agree, Jody. I've spent years sleep-walking (or rather, sleep-rushing) through my life, telling myself I love being busy. But all this busyness served a purpose - I had no time or space to be with myself and feel my feelings. Now that I've slowed right down (which my Knowing told me I needed to do, long before I listened), I find that spending time with myself is actually just fine! And having time for my loved ones, as well as solitude, is a precious gift. Enjoy your sweet, silly Bella, and the precious time with your parents.
Thank you, Victoria. I have had a similar experience with my knowing. I hear it for a while before I really listen. I'm now more conscious of it, and I pay more attention. I'm so glad you found your way to that space for yourself and your loved ones. It really is a precious gift.