What are you storing?

Taking inventory of the boxes that define us

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the boxes we find ourselves in. It opened something up. Because once you start looking, you realise there are a lot more boxes than you thought.

Think about it like a storage unit. If you’ve ever had one, you know what it’s like. You put stuff in there with the best of intentions, fully planning to come back and sort through it. And then life happens. Before you know it, you haven’t been in there in years. You don’t even remember what’s in half the boxes. You’ve just been living with them there, in the background, taking up space.

When Chris and I moved from South Africa to Spain, we had a storage unit in Cape Town. We left everything in there, planning to go through it once we got settled. It was a year or two before I went back to sort through it all.

I remember standing there looking at box after box thinking: why the heck did I keep all this crap?

Some of it I’d had for years without ever questioning whether I still wanted it. Some of it had made sense once. Some of it I couldn’t even explain. I went through it and got rid of what I didn’t want or need anymore.

That’s what I think we need to do with our boxes. Take inventory. Go through them. Figure out what’s actually in there and whether you still want any of it.

The thing is, I’ve never really done this consciously. I’ve mostly been reactive. I only notice a box when I start to feel suffocated or trapped by it. When the pain of being in it becomes bigger than the pain of fighting whatever kept me there. A sense of responsibility, fear of upsetting someone, or a lack of self-worth.

It means I’ve been leaving a lot of boxes unexamined. Just sitting there in the storage unit. Taking up space.

Some of our boxes are put there by other people. Those are the easier ones to spot. Someone makes a comment. “You should do this.” “I didn’t expect you to do that.” Or they just have a certain expectation of you, and suddenly there’s a box being pushed your way.

Fighting those ones is almost easier because you can often see them. But it does require knowing yourself well enough to say: no, that’s not me. That’s not right for me. Fuck off.

It can be harder than it sounds. If you haven’t taken the time to connect with who you really are, other people will fill your storage unit with their boxes and you’ll just kind of accept them.

But the boxes built from our own limiting beliefs? The glass ones you can’t see? Those are harder still.

I know a guy who was quite overweight at one point. He worked hard to get fit and transform himself. But he continued to see himself as the unpopular fat guy who was less than everyone else. And so, eventually, he became that again.

What we believe about ourselves has a way of becoming true.

I know there’s a box in my subconscious that’s telling me I have to work my ass off to earn money to have a good life. I think it came from watching my parents work so hard to make ends meet. They always did. But they worked frig hard to do it.

For me, a good life isn’t a big mansion and a yacht. Well, a yacht would be nice to rent sometimes. It’s just having the money I need for everything I want and need. Which isn’t that much. My finca in the hills. Adventures with my husband and puppy. Healthy food. My little guest house that I want to build one day.

I don’t need a ton of stuff. I just don’t want to stress about getting the things I do really want and need.

That belief, that money only comes through hardship, is the box I most want to go through right now. Clear out those limiting beliefs. Because it’s keeping me from earning what I want, doing what I love, in a way that brings me freedom and joy.

Awareness is the first step. I can see that box now.

The next step is doing something about it. I’ve gifted myself a session with my own spiritual hypnosis guide for my upcoming 52nd birthday. Working with the subconscious is how I find my way through the glass boxes.

So, watch this space.

Here’s what I want you to know about boxes, all of them, the ones others push at you and the glass ones you built yourself. They are all like cardboard. You can rip them. You can poke holes in them. You have that power.

Sometimes you don’t need to rip the whole thing to shreds right away. Maybe you just start by thinning the walls a bit. Poking some holes in it. Letting some light in.

And sometimes that’s enough to start.

What’s in your storage unit? And is there a box in there you’re ready to go through?