Something brought you here
Maybe something is shifting in you that you don’t quite understand yet.
Maybe parts of the life you’ve created don’t feel like they fit anymore.
Maybe you’re done being what everyone else wants you to be.
Maybe you’re tired of being lost in busyness.
Maybe new parts of yourself are emerging that you’re trying to make sense of.
Maybe you know what you want but haven’t been able to choose it yet.
Regardless of what it is, you’re in the right place.
Welcome.
What this is
Choosing Herself is an honest exploration of what it looks like to break free from the patterns, expectations, and shoulds that shape our lives and find the courage to live differently.
Every Thursday, I publish a new story or reflection, drawn from my own experiences, my own journals, my own mess. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve been navigating this for a long time and I know the terrain.
I also write Notes throughout the week. Shorter observations, moments, things I’m noticing.
Everything is free to read right now. I’ll be adding paid subscriptions later this year that include guided practices and live group sessions to help you move from knowing to choosing.
Why me
I’ve jumped continents, careers, and comfort zones. Silicon Valley in the dot-com boom. Denmark. London. Africa. And now a mountain finca outside Marbella, Spain.
I’ve done the big corporate thing, the tech startup thing, and developed poverty-alleviation strategies and company cultures. I have an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology, a PhD researching identity and behaviour change, and I’m training in spiritual hypnotherapy.
In other words, I’ve been around the block. Several blocks in fact.
I’ve kept 30 years of personal journals. I always thought maybe when I died, I’d donate them to a psychology department. I’m sure they would find them quite interesting!
Then I realised I didn’t have to wait. There are things in my journey that are useful to other people.
I know what it’s like to hate Sunday evenings because Monday is coming. To feel overwhelmed by constant to-dos and shoulds. To feel lost, because where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing doesn’t seem to fit anymore. To feel something shifting in you but not know what to do with it. To doubt yourself even when the evidence says otherwise.
I also know what it feels like to choose differently. And to face some hard truths to make that happen.
That’s what I write about. Honestly, and with a bit of humour.
What readers say
“Your writing is captivating — thanks for opening your world to us.” — Wendy Kerr
“I love how you broke down the attributes of Buster, the Busy Monster. If we can name the pattern, maybe we can begin to change it.” — Jamie Gilpin (Uncharted by Jamie Gilpin)
“Wow, that post resonated with me. Thank you for sharing it — it’s a good, and beautifully written, reminder to slow down.” — Clare Taylor (Being the Table)
Start here
If you’re new, these three stories are a good place to begin:
Nobody saw the shitshow: The woman who looked like she had it sorted.
Just wanting it should be enough: On Fridays, fear, and what we tell ourselves we need permission for.
Apparently I have too much energy: On staying fully yourself when the world keeps asking you to dim it.
